I woke up on the floor. My back was stiff and my head hurt like hell. I sat up. My room was completely dark except of the sliver of light coming in from the side of the curtains. You're alone. It was true. I was alone. But it didn't mean anything. I was always alone. A knock on the door made me jump a little. So maybe I wasn't always alone.
"Sasuke, it's time to get up. Mother is downstairs making breakfast." I nodded, then realized he couldn't see it.
"Okay, thanks nii-san." It came out sounding weird. Like I was crying or something. I brushed my fingers under my eyes to see if there were any tears. There were. How pathetic. I couldn't even tell when I was crying. Or why I was crying for that matter.
"Sasuke are you okay?" Obviously Itachi could tell also that my voice was off. I quickly stood up to make entry to my room not an option for the older Uchiha. With my back now pressed up against the door, I rubbed the tears away and answered with a quiet, "I'm fine Itachi, you can go to breakfast now."
There was silence, then the sound of footsteps. I slowly slid down to the floor and hugged my knees to my chest. More tears falling. Baby. Get a grip, and be a man. I groaned. I felt like Sakura. My inner Sasuke saying all the things I didn't want to hear.
I stood up and turned on the light. Walking to the mirror I felt a little light headed. Finally at the mirror I examined my face. Nope. No bruises that I have to explain. Not today at least. I continued to do the same to the rest of my body. Shedding the clothes I had been wearing yesterday as I went along.
Now in only my boxers I summarized my new injuries. Wow you got gypped. Only four bruises and cut. You're gonna have to make him really angry today if you want more pain. I shook the thoughts from my head. I was just feeding my sickness. Making it stronger.
I reached down for the dresser, getting on my clothes for the day. Making sure to expertly hide all of my marks. No questions mean that I don't have to explain why I let him do this to me. My own father.
I was perfectly capable to stop him. It would be so simple. But I don't stop him. Never have and I doubt I ever will. Still, in my eyes, father was the enemy. Finally dressed I made my way downstairs.
Itachi was at the table and mother was at the stove. Pancakes. That's what Itachi was eating, and what mother was making. Itachi looked at me. His face hiding any emotions that he had at the moment. I walked straight to the cupboard where we kept the bowls, and grabbed a cereal box.
"Sasuke, I made pancakes. Don't you want any?" Pancakes.
"No mother, thank you." I quickly sat down with my bowl and cereal, only to realize I forgot the milk and spoon. But I didn't get up. I just stared at it. I wasn't really hungry. The air smelled like pancakes. A sudden wave a nausea hit me. I ran to the bathroom. It was coming fast now so instead of the toilet, I would only make it to the sink. Oh well, I thought, better than the floor.
Since I hadn't eaten this morning, the vomit wasn't really vomit. Just stomach acid mostly. And it burned coming up my throat. Soon I was just dry heaving. Finally, I could breathe again. Coughs still coming, but no more heaving.
"Sasuke " Itachi stared at me, but I didn't look at him. I hadn't had time to shut the door, but should have. I liked doors. Doors kept secrets hidden. I closed my eyes. A memory came to me. A memory that I really didn't want to face. Not now. Not where Itachi can see
"Bye nii-san!" I waved at Itachi. I tried to hide my fear. But he could see it. I'm sure he could.
"Sasuke, it's okay. Father is here to take care of you. You'll be okay." But he contradicted his words by looking up at the house with a worried expression. One of the very few emotions he let people see.
"I know 'Tachi. You can go now. I don't want you to be late." then I smiled. Itachi nodded and went on his way. I stood there until I was certain he was gone. Then I slowly turned back to the house.
When I walked in the smell of pancakes welcomed me. I walked to the kitchen. Father was at the stove. Cooking the delicious food.
Quietly I sat at the table. Trying not to bring attention to myself. Attention only got me in trouble. So I sat there. Not talking. Not moving. And hardly breathing. Father, without turning around, said "Do you want pancakes Sasuke?"
I hesitated. Probably one of the worst things I could've done. "Uh huh." Father didn't respond. And that worried me. I held my breath. This wasn't going to end well.
"Well then. Here." Father walked over to me. A huge pile of pancakes was set in front of my eyes. "Eat away." I looked at the tower. But still I didn't move. "Why aren't you eating?" The adult Uchiha's eyes narrowed and stared me down. "Are they not good enough."
I quickly thought up an excuse. "Well, Father, maybe if they had syrup they would be better " I didn't look at him. Just the pancakes.
"Oh, of course." I didn't actually like syrup. Not at all. It was too sweet. It made me sick. And father knew that all too well. He went and got the syrup. When he came back to the table, he didn't have the syrup. Just a very angry expression. "F-father, w-what's wrong?" I stuttered. This face. It scared me.
"Why do you lie to me! Huh!? You hate syrup!" I flinched at his yelling, but still he continued. "You like pancakes! Eat them!" then he grabbed a pancake and shoved it into my mouth.
I fell out of the chair, choking on the pancake. My coughs seemed to only aggravate him further though, because he grabbed another pancake and once again shoved it into my mouth. Although this time it wasn't as violent as before and I was able to chew and swallow it. Kind of.
The pancakes kept getting shoved in my mouth. One by one I had to eat them. If I tried not to he would shove two in instead of one. When the pancakes were gone I was too full to move. And the nausea was overwhelming. Then to make it worse father went to get the syrup.
"You said you wanted syrup! Here you go!" He inserted the bottle into my mouth. Squirting out the horrible substance inside. The whole bottle was poured in my mouth. I was lucky that it was three-fourths gone. But now, I couldn't hold back the bile any longer.
I turned over and vomited all over the floor. Tears falling from my eyes. Father looked at me in horror. "What the hell are you doing?!" I stopped vomiting. But I still felt nauseous. "Look! Look at what you did!" then he grabbed my hair. At first I though he was going to throw my face in the mess, but he turned me toward him and brought his hand up.
A smack in the face. Another smack. And another.
"Gomennasai! Gomennasai! Gomennasai!" I shouted. Desperate for him to stop.
Itachi patted my head. And I realized I wasn't in the past anymore. I was whispering "gomennasai" over and over. And Itachi was holding me, as an attempt to sooth me. Mother looked at me, worried, from the doorway.
I clutched Itachi closer and stopped apologizing. "It's okay Sasuke. You don't have to say sorry for getting sick."
I looked up at my Aniki. He was so smart. And yet so clueless.









